…And in Really Bizarre News
By Jamie Douglas
Friends and fiends, some of the following may leave you
wondering about reality, but I swear on the latest edition of Granma, that it
is all true.
The Chávez Family in Caracas
According to the official news out of Venezuela, the Maximum
Lider of that sad Bolivarian nation,
Hugo Chávez died on March 3, 2013.
But according to the people who were to embalm him for posterity, he had
expired some time before that, as his organs had been rendered unsuitable for
display-quality embalming due to decomposition.
Meanwhile, of course, the nation had to continue to be
governed. Enter the infamous and (deliberately) incompetent bus driver Nicolas
Maduro, who was handpicked by Chávez while he still had some marbles.
One would think that two of the Chávez family’s daughters
would have vacated the premises in a dignified manner to relocate to one of the
Chávez’s many country estates. After all, while the nation was suffering through
one of its worst crises – shortages of food, inflation and the crumbling of its
infrastructure –
Hugo Chávez managed to steal at least a
billion dollars, according to the Criminal Justice International
Associates, while diverting another 100 billion dollars to cronies and criminal
enterprises.
Perhaps the biggest blow to the Carcass in Caracas was that
he was transported to his final resting place in an imperialist yanqui
Cadillac. (A pretty old one I must say)
OK, so we know that Hugo has been dead for about a year. Now,
we can report that two of his daughters have refused to surrender the
presidential palace and are throwing wild and crazy parties there on a
continuous basis, denying the new puppet president access to his (birth) right.
Rosa Virginia and María Gabriela Chávez continue to occupy "La Casona" in Caracas, throwing
big parties for their inner circle, costing tens of thousands of dollars, and
continuing to live the corrupt lifestyle they were endowed with by their
father.
Maybe it is time to remind them what happened to the
Ceausescu family in Romania. Eventually, the people who have been screwed out
of their heritage for so long will rise – and that could turn out very badly
for Rosa and María.
The Chinchilla Family
in Costa Rica
Meanwhile, Costa Rica’s lame duck president, Laura
Chinchilla, must be getting ready to follow many of her predecessors into the
corrupt nation’s penal system, probably along with a good number of her family
members. This time, it involves the disastrous highway that was built along the
Rio San Juan, along the border with Nicaragua. Not only was this highway built
along the banks of the river, where the soft soil has already caused millions of
dollars in erosion and cost overruns, but the who
le
project was built without any competitive bidding by a Chinchilla-family-owned
outfit that had never before done anything of such magnitude.
It will eventually also be revealed what her secret trips to
Colombia and Peru were about, when she just commandeered a corporate jet. (Cocaine
maybe?)
But in Costa Rica, it is almost established custom for
out-of-office politicians to meet in prison, where they have very comfortable
accommodations. And when they are released, they still have all the loot, possibly
moving to Panama where the administration of President Martinelli has held on
to their ill-gotten gains for a small fee.
Jamie Douglas
At Large in South America
I encourage you to write me at cruzansailor [at] gmail [dot] com with
any questions or suggestions you may have. Disclaimer: I am not in any
travel-related business. My advice is based on my own experiences and is free
of charge (Donations welcome). It is always my pleasure to act as a beneficial
counselor to those who are seekers of the next adventure.
