article from December 13, 2011
by Julie R Butler
Everything is different in Latin America. It seems like this
statement would be glaringly obvious, yet it is not so obvious to those who are
picking a future retirement location out of the glossy magazines that are more
about selling a dream than about culturally educating their readers. Building
construction is different. The smells are different. People eat strange meals
at odd hours of the day. Businesses close for several hours during the middle
of the day. Life passes by according to an entirely different time schedule (or
none at all). And people behave differently.
My theory is that the reasons for these differences are sunk
deep in history, in the turbulent interaction of cultures that reaches back
hundreds of years farther than the history of the United States does and
involves epic conquests of a sophisticated matrix of civilizations that were
not a part of the story in the northern reaches of the Americas. The result is
that, throughout Latin America, there are several characteristics that many who
come to live here are surprised to discover, often finding themselves annoyed
and offended to have to deal with them. Here are a few:
The future
Time is not the essence of Latin America. It is regarded in
a completely different way. When someone says that something will happen “mañana,” they do not necessarily mean
“the day that follows today.” It is a multipurpose word, like “aloha” in
Hawaiian. It may mean “tomorrow,” but it may also mean “morning,” and you have
to specify “mañana por la mañana” if
you want to say “tomorrow morning.” Most often, it means “not today, but
sometime in the future.”
Likewise, “quince
días,” which translates literally into “fifteen days,” may signify roughly
two weeks from now, but usually it means sometime further into the future or
“check back in a few weeks.”
A desire to please
It seems to be a matter of politeness to answer “sí” when presented with a yes or no
question, regardless of what the answer really is. Example: “Does this road go
through?” “Sí.” One hour later, you will enjoy waving at everyone for the
second time as you make your way back from where the road ends at the edge of a
major river – sans bridge. Asking “Is this the way to San Gerardo” is not the
best method of finding your way to San Gerardo. Alternatively, asking for
directions will get you directions to somewhere or other, but not necessarily to
San Gerardo. Since you wanted directions, you will get directions.
If you ask if something can be done, again, the question is
likely to be answered in the affirmative. And you can probably guess what “I’ll
call you” usually entails. I believe it is all due to the strange custom that
it is better to disappoint someone in the future than to do it face to face.
The future is so uncertain, after all.
Personal space?
Ideas about “personal space” are different, as in there is
no such concept in many places in Latin America. People will crowd you in lines
and at the gym.
Another aspect of this is the way that you will find people gathered
together or walking together at a leisurely pace blocking everything from the
grocery store aisles to the roads, and whatever important appointment you are
rushing to will just have to wait.
And then there is noise. One person’s noise is everyone’s
noise. If it is a major holiday, there will be mortars and firecrackers. If it
is a wedding or a birthday, there will be loud music and laughter. If you are
in the countryside, it will be barking dogs and crowing roosters. If you are in
the city, there will be car horns honking. You will either get used to it or
you won’t.
Customer service?
I often read about how there is no such thing as customer
service in Latin America, but I think this impression is not quite right. I
believe that the issue is that ideas about courtesy are different.
As I mentioned before, people prefer to answer questions in
the affirmative and tend to say that things are possible when they are not. Businesses
owners who are out of stock of an item will tell you that they will be getting
more in “quince días,” but knowing that the distribution system is not that
reliable should tell you that it will either arrive sometime in the future or
it won’t. You may think you have an item on hold, even having put a down
payment on it, but if someone walks in with the cash on hand to purchase it, you
will have to make other arrangements.
There is no “business as usual,” as people from the States
and other more fast-paced and prompt countries are familiar with. But do not think
that what these shopkeepers and businesspeople are doing is meant to be rude or
spiteful. They are just different cultural habits.
The same goes for waiters at restaurants. Instead of
constantly sweeping by to see if you would like yet another beer, the waiters
in Latin America generally take a hands-off approach. I have come to suspect
that they are specially trained in eye contact avoidance, as you often have to
gesture wildly to get their attention. Most incomprehensible is the matter of
the check. They are not interested in turning tables over. The system doesn’t
work that way. Rather, diners are expected to linger and talk over a cup of
coffee after the meal is finished. There is a time for everything, but mealtime
is not the time for rushing. That activity is reserved for speeding from one
stoplight to the next.
My humble advice
It is easy to get paranoid when you are learning to live
your life in a foreign culture, when you think that everyone is out to take
advantage of you. And there are, indeed, many who will charge the “gringo tax”
or otherwise try to take advantage of those who don’t speak the language or appear
to be able to afford it or seem to be out of their element – all because they
can.
My advice: Always be respectful. Do your best to learn the
language and use it at least when greeting people before politely excusing
yourself for not speaking their language well.
Be observant of how the locals behave. Particularly if you
are outside of a big city, don’t be shy about greeting whoever you meet, even
just walking down the sidewalk, if that is what others tend to do. In the major
cities, you will find people to be more guarded. Then again, you may find
yourself in a café or restaurant where people are on more friendly terms with
each other. Join in the spirit – you might end up engaged in a pleasant
conversation with the people at the next table who are interested to know if
you are enjoying your time in their country.
Above all, try not to take things personally. The disregard
for time, the blowing you off, the noisy neighbors, the inattentive waiters, even
the gringo tax and the attempts to take advantage of your naivety about the
ways of their country... none of this is aimed at you personally. Some of these
habits are cultural mindsets that you will just have to get used to, otherwise
you will be perpetually bent out of shape. And in most cases, the tendency to
try to take advantage is a trait that is extended to anyone whose
vulnerabilities make for an opportunity. I guess it is kind of like asking for
a discount on the price of something; if you don’t ask, you won’t get it.
Life is different on the other side of the rainbow. It
certainly isn’t Kansas anymore.
[Photo of Rainbow at Iguazu Falls by Julie R Butler]
Julie R Butler is a writer, journalist, editor, and
author of several books, including Nine Months in Uruguay and No
Stranger To Strange Lands (click here for
more info). She is a contributor to Speakout at Truthout.org, and her
current blog is Connectively
Speaking.
email: julierbutler [at] yahoo [dot] com, Twitter: @JulieRButler
